a clearing has taken place.

the artist's way had its way with me

This summer I’ve been reading The Artist’s Way, and let’s just say this book has had its way with me. I’ve owned it for years, constantly ducking and dodging it, but there was something about this summer that wasn’t gonna let me off the hook this time lol.

Like most, I went into this book/course not really knowing what to expect. I was a little doubtful that significant change would take place, but as I close up week 12 (the final week/chapter) I realize how unrecognizable I feel to myself.

In so many ways I’m still the same, if not even more myself, but at the same time I’m so different, occupying a level of depth in my existence and authenticity that I’m not quite familiar with. I’m no stranger to uncharted territory and liminal spaces, but this one feels…different. A huge clearing has taken place. In the past, I would swim (metaphorically) just far enough to still be able to see the shore. But this time around, the shore is no longer off in the distance as a reference point to return to. Just gotta keep swimming *Dory from Nemo voice lol*

I think I’m still processing it all and trying to find my footing which is why I haven’t written as much as I would liked. Lord knows I have so much I wanna say and share, but all I have is silence and this deep presence. 

I wouldn’t necessarily say The Artist’s Way has made me “more creative.” If anything it has made me more honest (which has inevitably made me less creatively blocked). Have you ever been faced with the ways you have been upholding falsehood? This book made me confront myself and the daily morning pages created a space for me to shed and shapeshift right before my eyes. “I actually don’t like x. I actually want more of x. I only did x because I felt like I had to, but not because I truly desired to…” So many things have come up. And once you see it, there’s no going back…the elephant is in the room and it can’t be avoided. 

I feel lost and found at the same time. Like I’ve taken on a new form while also remaining formless — like I’m raw material ready to be molded into something. Like I’m on the brink of yet another beautiful bloom.

Until next time,

Kei

a moody & rainy september day has never hurt my feelings.